Monday, April 23, 2007


It's got to be a reflex.

Random seems to be resting much better on her new formula, in better spirits, and she seems a lot more regular. Instead of having to give her prune juice, she's now a very productive pooper.

More poopies means more ham-handed Daddie changes.

One of the things that I see frequently is that as soon as I have the diaper off, her left leg (usually the one I'm not holding) will jerk down. This has the effect of making poopie-foot, which is okay because it wipes off, or poopie-sock, which is just gross.

So when she does it, I call her Kickapoo.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


So tonight I was watching The Prestige with Random. Well, she was sleeping in my arms, anyway.

I had turned up the stereo a bit more than usual, as I was straining to hear some of Christian Bale's quiet dialogue.

There was a gunshot on screen, and Random started.

Started hard.

And then her mouth screwed up into a grimace. There was a moment's delay, and the grimace hardened. Then, she started to cry. A mournful, pathetic cry. One I'd not yet really heard.

I calmed her down with a bottle, and after a time, it happened again, only this time when one of the Tesla devices started up a light show.

And then it came back to me.

With Gamble, I remember watching his emotions grow in, basically one by one.

With Random, we have only started to see joy, and now we're very clearly on to the next one: fear.

They do grow so fast...

Eenie-Meenie Teenie-Weenie Greenie Bikini

Nicole's just better with babies. I've become accustomed to that over the past couple of weeks. I'm just not great at sitting there for hours on end consoling, comforting, feeding, burping, cooing, cuddling, and playing with an infant. These hours are often spent with one or both hands tied up, and I'm all about trying to get things done.

So sometimes, I get extra diaper duty, because Nicole spends more time on the couch (she's a one-handed typist, and can navigate the computer while holding Random. She's basically a miracle mommie).

Oh, and Nicole never just hands me a whizzy baby.

Oh no.

So just the other day, Nicole handed me a particularly stinky baby. Contrary to popular belief, some Daddies can tell a full diaper from a dry one from the feel of it. This was a full diaper.

Even knowing it, even with fair warning, I wasn't prepared what I was getting into.

I opened the diaper to see what apparently was the eponymous bikini. It was as if she was wearing a little lime green bikini made of poo. It was the consistency of ricotta cheese, and the color of key lime pie. It was almost like what you'd find in a cannoli on St. Patty's day.

Funny thing is, I was forewarned at the hospital, "Always wipe baby girls front to back. You don't want to get poo in her privates."

With the bikini, it seemed that she did that well enough herself! Strangely enough, no poo went up the backside. I'm starting to think I'm putting the diapers on backwards.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Her Personal Sneeze

So everyone seems to sneeze differently. As hard as I try, I can't seem to change my explosive sneeze.

Some people sneeze quietly. Some people squeal when they sneeze. Some people sneeze three times. Some just once.

Random sneezes five times. Almost every time.

His Evil Laugh

On the way home yesterday, Gamble showed me his new evil laugh. He started out by telling me that he was going to get all the bad robots.

"I'm going to get all the bad robots. I'm a super villain! Mu-WAH-hah-ha! Mu-WAH-hah-ha!"

This continued for quite a while, getting louder and softer, but definitely of the same character. Just like sneezes, is an evil laugh personal?

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Cat Poop Park

I'm sure everyone up north here has noticed that it doesn't feel quite like easter or spring, what with the four inches of snow on the ground everywhere. 

 Gamble's got the cabin fever, and he really would like to get himself outside from time to time. Above all, he misses the park. We used to go pretty much every other day last year, so that he could swing, slide, whatever. We've not been able to go at all this year yet, and he's starting to ask to go. 

Of course, all of this would be fine if he knew the names of the parks, but he doesn't. When he wants to visit the park by our house, he can only say, "I want to go to da powk with the two blue ladders." The other park we go to, however, is "that park with the cat poop." 

 Last year sometime, someone left some food, perhaps a quarter of a banana, up on one of the park toys. By the time we'd seen it, it was rotten pretty much beyond recognition. So when he asked what it was, and I saw it, I did the best I could. I told him that it was cat poop, and that he should keep his hands off it. 

 And he did. 

Except because it was under a little overhang, the rain never washed it away. I'm very interested to see whether it's still there after the winter, but even if it's not, I bet he'll still be calling it Cat Poop Park.


I sing this all the time to my baby girl, just like this. It seems to soothe her.

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.
Daddie's gonna buy you a mockingbird,
And if that mockingbird don't sing,
Gamble's going to buy you a diamond ring.
If that diamond ring don't shine,
Mommie's going to buy you a valentine,
And if that valentine don't love?
Daddie's gonna buy you a mockingbird.

Good Girl

On the ride home from easter weekend, both kids were very patient in the car. Gamble was watching TV, and Random seemed to be content to look out the window. She does this contentedly even at home sometimes, but it was really a pleasure to see it in the car during a 5 hour commute.

At one point, Gamble looked over and saw her looking around.

"Random! You're awake!" In amazement, he added, "And you're not crying! You're such a good girl."

And he's such a good and attentive big brother.

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Powers of Ten

We all know that Gamble has declared that the number sequence goes: "Hundred, Thousand, Million, Brazilian, Australian."

Last night Mommie asked him what was even bigger.

After thinking a minute, he said, "Sicilian!"

After that, he tends to actually get a little silly with "Sillion" then "Dillion"...


From Mommie:

M: Hey Gamble, did anyone notice that you got your hair cut today?
G: Yeah, I told everyone. Especially Jenna-Bear.
M: Oh, Jenna-Bear. When did she become Jenna-Bear?
G: She is my Jenna-Bear

To which Daddie started singing the song that he proposed with. "Hey There, Nikki Bear"

Ooh, does Gamble have a ring yet?

Monday, April 2, 2007

May I Have This Dance

Mommie observed the following exchange at Gamble's daycare:

Little girl, frequent favorite friend of G: Gamble, can I have a huggie?
Gamble: Sure. (hugs her tight)

All of a sudden, they start swaying together. I asked if they were dancing, and they said yes. Too cute.

Gamble and I went to get his coat and blanket. Then he went up to this young lady and said, "Can I have this dance?" and they started swaying.

Well, kind of. She was swaying.

Gamble was swaying *and* jumping up and down.

He has so many ants in pants that he couldn't just calmly dance. The young lady didn't know what to make of him, but seemed proud to be dancing with him.

Sucker Punch

Another Mommie tale:

So after feeding Random and the typical spit-up, I thought it was time I should change her butt. It was 7:30 am and she had been grunting for some time. All I wanted to do was go back to bed, so I thought if I cleaned her butt and put some new clothes on her, she would be content, so on the changing table she went.

I opened her diaper to find some clay-like stool and decided, since was still grunting, to wait a minute. With her diaper unhooked, I checked periodically to see if she was done. It was on the 3rd time that I checked that I saw her peeing.

Okay, close the diaper, I thought to myself.

Then I looked up at her and she was smiling. Oh, so she thought peeing into her unhooked diaper was funny.

That's when it happened.

She spit up, the vomit arcing up and out, barely missing my face. Nice! First the poo, then the pee, and then the puke. She's done, right? If I change her, she will go to sleep?

No avail. It got to almost 8am and guess what? She wanted to eat again.

As a side note - she was wearing the Hungry Caterpillar jammies. For those of you who don't know the story, the caterpillar just keeps eating until he could eat no more and then went into hibernation. I am hoping that this happens before the Nanny arrives and I have to be up for the day. Time is ticking!

Squeaky Peach Revisited

From the Mommie:

R and I were shopping at Target over the weekend while the boys were at home getting ready for bed. I had some things to return and knew that it was going to be a long night, so I took R with me thinking the car ride and the commotion would help her settle down. It wasn't long after I got to the store, when she started crying. She was HUN-GEE. Oh boy.

Well, I thought, I brought the diaper bag. No problem. I had packed more than enough for K as he had taken her out earlier in the day, and he said that he didn't use much, so I knew that I was in good shape. There were extra clothes, blankets, burp clothes, diapers and formula. Cool! And with that we left.

I neglected to look at the state of the diaper bag before leaving. D'oh! After realizing that I couldn't soothe her without a bottle, I decided to put one together. Ummm, everything is soaked. Oh and the formula that I had has spilled all over the bag and so there was a wet powder all throughout the bag and all over the blankets and burp cloths. Nice. Well, there is a little bit of formula left, I can just add water. So, off to the water section I went with R screaming.

Distracted, I was trying to find the water and get the formula together- right there in the aisle. As I was doing this, I noticed a stock boy looking at me. I thought he was just shocked at my audacity to open up water right there in the aisle and prepare a bottle.

He was in fact very young. Turns out, he was shocked at Random.

After staring at me for a bit, he commented on how she "doesn't cry very well."

Confused, I asked what he meant, given that she was in all-out hysterics by this time. He said that he had never heard a sound out of a baby like that.

Huh? Still not getting it, I asked for an explanation, thinking that he would tell me that he has lived his whole love in a bubble. Turns out, he was referring to her squeaking.

After I realized this, I had to laugh. To anyone that doesn't know her, I could see how this could be shocking. Ha! Love is blind... and apparently deaf!