Captain Literal and the Perpetual Motion

For those of you who've ever read with Gamble, I know you'll sympathize. For those of you who haven't, I sure hope I can do it justice.

Gamble reads in motion. His body just can't sit still. He will turn around in place mid-sentence, or he might drop his legs off the side of the bed, then jump up and crouch on his knees, face only a few inches from the book, only to lie down on his stomach and put his chin on his fists.

All this in the span of about ten seconds, and I'm not exaggerating.

All of this leads to a very broken read. I've taken him to sitting what we used to call "Indian style", but I'm not sure what today's PC equivalent is. Native American style? Injun chic? Probably I should just say cross-legged, but for some reason I always just say Indian style. He knew what I meant.

It seems very painful for him to sit still. Almost as if he's a perpetual motion machine, and he just can't stop.

As if that's not enough, he takes breaks mid-sentence to ask questions about the pictures. I got a little tired of this habit tonight, and I decided to try to break it. Silly me.

"Gamble, when you read, you're not supposed to take a break in the middle of a sentence. You should only stop to look at the pictures when you hit a period, a question mark, or an exclamation (to *make your*) point."

"Ok, Daddie."

Well, we were in the middle of the one duck that got his feathered tush stuck down in the grassy stinky marsh. This book has the repeating refrain, "No luck. The duck stayed stuck deep in the muck down by the greasy grimy marsh," or something similar.

This young spaceman, this Captain Literal, took me at my word. He stopped not just at the periods and question marks, but at every period and question mark.

"Gamble, you don't have to stop at every question mark."

"Oh, I know," he said. But then he proceeded to say, "No luck." He very pointedly looked all around the picture, lingering on the picture. It was maddening, and just before I could say something, he started humming. "Hmm hm-hm," he singsonged.

Oh, Jeez. "Gamble, can we move on."

"Oh, Daddie. I'm just looking at the picture. You see? I hit a period, so I can look now."

The good thing is that he's stopped taking breaks mid-sentence, but I'm not sure whether I've sped up the book or not. That boy!